The Person in Pain: Daudet’s La Doulou

When I’m not well, I find the day is something to get through so I can take my meds and go to bed. And so Monday & Tuesday slid by unremarked.
I woke up Wednesday feeling better and so took the bus into town and walked 20 minutes to Queen’s to take a World Literature class, having missed last week’s due to a doctor’s appointment. The title of the class, above, seemed appropriate. The gist of the lecture was that language is insufficient to describe living in pain (la doulou). French author Alphonse Daudet suffered greatly during the last 12 years of his life as his spinal cord wasted away--a delayed consequence of syphilis contracted 20 years earlier. He kept a journal in which he tried to describe the pain he endured. Popular British author Julian Barnes translated the journals into English and they were published in 2002. The lecture was interesting but I think English falls short in describing lots of intense emotions--grief, love, awe--not just pain.

After the 20 minute walk back from Queen’s to the bus stop downtown and another 10 minute walk home, I went to bed. Having worn proper clothes and walked long distances for the first time in a week irritated the rashes that wrap from my spine around to my stomach. I had committed to an event this evening and the nap was to help me go the distance.

My friend Ann had invited me to a presentation being given by Irish charity Concern about their work in Burundi. The presentation was preceded by a tour of Clifton House, built in the late 1700s as a poorhouse. I would have totally backed out of this commitment had I not extended the invitation to Biddy Walker’s granddaughter Lucinda, who is hoping to get a job with Concern. She has spent a lot of time working with a charity in Zimbabwe and is currently on a gap year between undergrad and grad degrees in anthropology. I’ve always been keen to help people network, paying forward help others have given me.

Lucinda texted me at 4:30 pm that she had arrived in Belfast from Derry on the bus. I was to meet her at the bus station by 4:45, we’d have a bite then grab a taxi to Clifton House for the 5:45 tour. The problem was I was sitting in my kitchen at 4:30, not well into a 45 minute walk/bus/walk trip to the central bus station. My watch said 3:30. How could it be 4:30? Well, I had tried to set my watch alarm when I took a nap (and failing that, set my phone). But my watch was still in alarm mode, showing 3:30. Mon dieu, as Alphonse would say. I called two cab companies, no dice. Ran to one bus stop. Lots of traffic. Ran farther to a second bus stop. Lots of stopped traffic. Waited 10 minutes, sweating. Ran farther to a third stop served by more buses. One came and got me close enough to city centre that I got off and ran the last 12 minutes, arriving at the Europa Hotel at 5:30, 45 minutes late. We grabbed a cab and arrived at Clifton at 5:45, just in time for the tour.

Stress is what you want to avoid when you have shingles but that was not in the cards today. Standing around for the next two hours for the tour and finger foods was also not what the doctor ordered, but it was a good night for Lucinda and Ann very kindly drove us home. I showed Lucinda to the guest room and, driven more by will than strength, I walked down to Spar to get toilet paper, bananas and yogurt--the cupboards are pretty bare because I haven’t been out much.

The next morning, Lucinda headed back into the city, then on to the airport, from where she flew to Wales. Her Love Zimbabwe charity (based in Wales where she went to university) was having a three-day fair trade fair. She’s a lovely young woman and I’m glad she enjoyed her Concern evening. Living with Biddy among the fields outside Derry has to be a bit lonely for her.

Thursday and Friday I would say involved some backsliding pain-wise. I think the trick is to take more medicine at night, but I’m scared of powerful medicines. The doctor told me the night-time medicine is very powerful. I can take, one, two, or three pills per night--but no more than three. I think maybe Wednesday was a good day because I had taken two pills for two nights running. I returned to one pill Weds, Thurs, Friday nights because I was sleeping better, but daytime pain has increased. La Doulou indeed.
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