Gutted

This is a word we use in Northern Ireland when we are really disappointed. "Fiona was gutted when the wedding was canceled due to the lockdown." That kind of thing. I think it was Sunday May 17 and lockdown reached a new phase for me. I ended up doing some online shopping, something I don't usually do. Like never. Marks & Spencer is having a 50% off sale. So I looked at likc 350 items and bought two. And then I ended up on eBay, where I bought a Waterford chandelier. As you do.

I have an ugly chandelier in my hallway, with two of the three lights not working. I have a small brass chandelier in my dining room that I'm keen to move to the hallway. But first I need a dining room chandelier. The eBay seller shipped the chandelier to me from London on the Monday, and it arrived on Friday. After work, I opened it up and, to my dismay, elements of it are in pieces.

I've been really looking forward to sorting out the lighting issues in the dining room and hallway and I'm gutted that this project has backfired. Of the five cups, three are smashed and one has a crack. Of the five arms, one is broken in two. The upside down bowl at the top of the chandelier was also in bits. I put a black napkin among the pieces to show the damage.

The good news is the seller refunded me immediately when I sent her photos. Now I have to figure out how to box it up and get it back to her. It was not packed properly at all. It had lots of tape marked 'fragile' surrounding the box, but that isn't insurance against insufficient packing.

I'm really disappointed but I feel equally the sting of privilege. People are dying from COVID 19, people's businesses are failing, and I'm upset because my hopes for a Waterford chandelier have been postponed. Honestly.

I listen to the radio more than usual during lockdown. BBC Radio 2 has a lot of people calling in with dedications (anniversaries, birthdays, graduations). I really feel for seniors in university who are missing out on the social aspect of being a senior, partying with your peers before you set off into the big bad world. That's a semester they'll never get back--no proper graduation, no parties. It's really sad. And kids turning 16 without the big party as planned. Lots of weddings are off. My heart goes out to young people who are missing milestones that we've always taken for granted.

May 22