Disorientation

This is a sad thing to admit but, when I’m not working, I feel a bit disoriented. My job took three days a week, providing some structure to my remaining time. Now I have limitless time off--and gorgeous weather. I should be out frolicking in National Trust gardens or going on hikes. Instead I’m fretting over my list of 46 things to do, half of which are related to professional interests (update CV, read a few papers on environmental issues in Northern Ireland, check on whether the last two pension contributions were made, begin work on a freelance article, etc.). I fret all day--making slight progress here and there--and then it’s early evening and I’m too tired to do anything energetic because I run or swim each morning.

For Monday through Wednesday, I told myself my recent activity with my guests explains my lack of get up and go. After playing an extrovert for 11 days, I got to be an introvert and stay home. Which is weirdly both absolutely necessary but also very frustrating. I always feel like I should be doing something else.

Today, Thursday, I got out and went to Ross Auctions. There’s a sideboard I wanted to bid on but, ha ha, it wasn’t in the auction. Some items are in online auctions and some in the live auction. Whatever. In the evening, I met Maria for dinner then we went to the weekly swing dance lesson at Queen’s.

My challenge to myself: have a bit of discipline about my days so I confine the “get things done” time to, say, two hours in the morning. Then I can do something fun in the afternoon. Or vice versa.
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