Aunt and Uncle

My mom was one of 10 Caseys, five of whom are still living. Today we went to see the oldest sibling, my Aunt Rosemary, who is also my godmother and my idol. She is 92 wise years old. Until very recently, her mind was sharp and her perspective on life was one of curiosity, humor, strong opinion, religious devoutness, and loyalty to her family. She has always been the one all others call when there is News, and she sends forth The Word. We've spent many companionable, happy hours in conversations about politics, culture, and books.

She is starting to fail and it is hard to see. It is especially hard knowing that I won't be nearby and able to call on her to see what she needs.

I was also hoping to take mom to see her older brother, Uncle Bill (William Francis Casey, same as my grandfather). While I was in Ireland, his wife died. She was his companion of more than 70 years. I was in Portugal the day of the funeral and was miserable that I missed it. She was incredibly good to me as a child, always making a fuss over me and making me feel like a million bucks.

Uncle Bill said straight out that he didn't want to see us. We called his son (also William), who told us he doesn't want to see anyone. Although I'm hurt and disappointed, I can't imagine what it is like to have had only one partner your entire life. To have known from grade school that this was the one. To face being alone for the first time in your late 80s. Uncle Bill has always been a jolly man, a joker, a story teller, a kidder. It is so hard to hear him sounding cross. I can never recall him being cross.

At least mom got to have a nice visit with Aunt Rosemary, during which they shared their memories of their father. Mom told Aunt Rosemary about a book she read recently in which the son memorized the Kipling poem If, at the insistence of his father. As Uncle bill had done at their father's insistence. At age 92, Aunt Rosemary could remember the words. Wow.