And just like that...
Two weeks fly by. The first few days here, I distributed presents to mom's friends (Nancy, Sandy, Sandi, Connie and Janey) and ran errands with mom. Most of my presents were related to the coronation – something uniquely British. But also socks from the lovely Avoca mill – uniquely Irish.
Thursday the 21st I called in at Connie's to borrow her golf clubs, which I did in September as well. I played two rounds before Christmas day, drawn to the out of doors by unseasonably warm weather. On Christmas, after returning from mass, we learned Connie fell on Thursday night and was airlifted to Morgantown on Christmas Eve. I went by Connie's house to leave a note offering to help (babysit anyone? walk the dog? bring food?). I expected her daughters to be in Morgantown but one of them was there with Connie's partner and the other was out getting food. Her daughter Amy told me Connie died soon after arrival in Morgantown.
Connie was a vibrant, gorgeous woman whose smile lit up a room. She was direct in expressing her opinions and emotions and I loved her for it. A former nurse, she had a way of cutting through to the truth of things in a way that was both practical and caring. One of the last things she said to me was how happy it made her to see me here with mom, she just shook her head and said "so happy." She was in fine form at the lunch on the 19th and had a cruise planned early in 2024. She was to have made lobster and steak for her daughters at Christmas. We none of us know when our number will be called.
I went home and finished my Christmas dinner cooking, made up plates and took them to Connie's house. Amy's sister had not yet returned with food – who knows what was open on Christmas. Or she could have been sat in a car somewhere crying.
Today, my last day in West Virginia, we are going to Connie's funeral. It is still so unreal. Our sorrow at losing Connie will dominate my memories of this Christmas.
The other main theme has been mom's health. A virus of some kind converted her lungs into a phlegm factory, resulting in violent coughing every night and sometimes during the day. We visited the urgent care center, resulting in two prescriptions in addition to the two boxes of Mucinex she consumed while I was here (she had already taken one of the prescriptions after a visit to the same urgent care center earlier this month). She seems to be nearing the end of it – but that has been after a month of coughing. Neither of us have had a lot of sleep in recent weeks.
For the record, I also:
Watched 1.5 seasons of The Crown and the films May December, Victoria and Abdul and the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. Read two books about post-war Manchester by Beryl Banbridge. Cleaned a lot of floors. Did a lot of cooking. Set up an alarm bracelet for mom (requiring three calls to the help center – the instructions came woefully short). Did a fair amount of shopping – I bring gifts for mom's friends in one direction and for mine in the other. Managed to do a half hour of physio exercises two out of every three days – a big improvement on my record in Belfast. Packed away Christmas decorations. And I tried to spend time every day editing a book for my former Pennsylvania neighbours, who have written about their experiences running a goat dairy. Progress has been disappointingly slow, I've edited only five of 13 chapters at this point. When I get back to Belfast, I will have less down time than I've had here. Partly due to this guy:
My dog sitter hasn't sent a tonne of photos since I've been away, but she is going for quality over quantity.
20 Dec 2023
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3 January 2024